Calling Into Question

We are all familiar with the adage, “Ask a silly question, you’ll get a silly answer.” The questions that parents ask children are worth considering because the depth of the questions that we present to them correspond closely with the depth of self-awareness and understanding that will be engendered by those questions.

Don’t Forget To Bring a Doorstop

The most important piece of advice my oldest daughter and I heard when she was packing for college was: Don’t forget to bring a doorstop.

Gratitude: Good Medicine For Stress and Striving

The Stanford student approached me after the second session of our “Exploring Happiness” course. “I’m sorry but I have to drop your class. The course conflicts with my family values.” Perplexed, I inquired further.

Year-end Student Awards and Assemblies

Several administrators at a recent conference asked my opinion on year-end student awards and assemblies. At their schools, they typically rewarded students who had straight A’s or who had GPA’s above a certain cut-off point.

HAPPINESS WITHIN REACH: The Open Secret

“I want to be happier. I just don’t know how.” In my work as faculty, presenter and leadership coach, I hear this confession from adults, 18-80. We live complex, stressful and often disconnected lives, often bombarded by media that convinces us that buying all kinds of stuff will make us happy, beautiful, successful, prestigious, and even more loveable individuals. Sometimes it does, in the short run. The real problem, however, is that this media-created trance can blunt our quieter universal quest for deeper joy and kindness. But there is very good news. Deep happiness is within reach.

A Fresh Start: School Without Trauma

A new school year is about to begin. First, we need to get over the lingering regret about what we didn’t accomplish — the closets that remain unkempt, the books we meant to read, the friends we were certain we’d see more of and the excursions with our kids that we never got around to taking. It’s water under the bridge as they say.

What Teaching 8th Graders Has Taught Me About Homework and Stress

This is my first year as a full time teacher, after working for many years in education as a part-time teacher, researcher, and coach with Challenge Success. Throughout the year I’ve seen the complexities and nuances of how student stress works up close. Stress doesn’t just come from one place. It’s not only teachers assigning too much homework, or a hectic school schedule, or one too many extracurricular activities. It’s deeper than any one of those things. It’s cultural, and it’s something we not only feel, but also go in search of.

A Senior’s Perspective: Success in High School

Everyone wants to be successful in high school. Success comes in a variety of ways: academic success, social success, financial success (except babysitting hasn’t really been cutting it). But the kind of success that I’m describing is not something that comes in the form of a transcript or an Instagram post with this or that person. A couple of weeks ago, as college notifications were rolling out, my friend and I had a long chat and reflected on the end of high school. The conclusion we came to was one that will always stick with me: the people who truly succeed in high school are the ones that can look back and say “Wow, I had a blast doing the things I loved and I would not change a single thing.”

We Need to Challenge the Verb “Achieve”

On the wall of the library, a discolored gray slab of concrete with chipped gold paint proclaims our school motto: “Achieve the Honorable.” It glares down upon an expansive collection of books, each awaiting a curious student. It hangs above shining computers, the drab concrete words contrasting sharply with the innovative technology. It lords over students who scramble to fulfill society’s lofty expectations for success, scribbling last-minute homework to the rhythm of “achieve, achieve, achieve.”

The Teacher’s Note: Too Much, Too Fast

Thursday was the technology professional development day at the District, and although I thought the day was excellently planned and carried out, and I was impressed with all the presenters, when I left, I felt battered and pessimistic. I have been trying to figure out why.

A Student’s Perspective: The Importance of a Caring Community

On paper, Castilleja is not so different from other schools. There are other private schools, even all-girl schools, that can claim the same benefits and advantages that Casti can. At least, I used to think this was the case. A few weeks ago, I discussed the practice of Senior Talks with a friend from a different school. Her school is much like Castilleja – small, all –girls, but located in a different state. They also have senior talks, where seniors speak about an important experience or idea that they want to convey to their peers, in a speech that is often moving and deeply personal. However, at my friend’s school, the best senior talks get voted on in a competition to win scholarship money. At Castilleja, the only prize you get for a senior talk or 8th grade speech is flowers …