Building Resilience and Relationships in the Elementary Years

By The Challenge Success Team

The early years of schooling are more than a time to develop reading, writing, and math skills—they’re also a critical window for building emotional intelligence, self-regulation, and the kinds of relationships that help children thrive.

Elementary school provides a powerful opportunity to nurture students’ social and emotional development and help them learn how to navigate the ups and downs of growing up.

By creating environments that value play, resilience, and strong connections with both peers and adults, schools lay the foundation for students to flourish—both now and in the years to come.

Here are three research-based ways schools can foster protective factors and whole-child development during the elementary years.

Related: Learn more about how we transform elementary schools across the country through our partnership program!

Support Social-Emotional Development Through Play

Agency and autonomy—so vital to academic engagement—also play a major role in developing social-emotional skills. In the primary years, these skills are essential to both student well-being and learning.

Play is one of the most effective ways for children to build self-regulation, collaboration, and problem-solving abilities. But when adults overly direct playtime, they may unintentionally remove opportunities for children to explore peer relationships and navigate social dynamics independently.

Here are a few simple ways schools can support social-emotional development through play:

1. Incorporate imaginative play into lessons.
   • Example: Turn a math lesson into a pretend play store where students use currency and role-play different characters.
2. Ensure time for unstructured, child-directed play.
   • Example: Recess supervised by adults should still allow kids to lead their own games and activities.
3. Use classroom games to teach collaboration and communication.
   • Example: Activities like cooperative challenges or peer-paired activities help students practice teamwork in low-stakes settings.

Foster Resilience and Coping Skills

To build resilience, students must have opportunities to make mistakes, experience setbacks, and learn strategies to recover and grow. Social-emotional learning shouldn’t just be about avoiding conflict—it should prepare students to handle it constructively.

Educators can nurture coping skills and emotional growth through age-appropriate, real-world learning moments. For example:

1. Provide time for reflection and problem solving.
   • Example: After recess or group activities, debrief with students about peer interactions, and encourage the students to help problem solve as a group.
2. Teach and model adaptive coping strategies.
   • Example: Include discussions about emotions and share practical strategies like deep breathing, movement, or talking with a trusted adult.
3. Invite student voice in shaping school culture.
   • Example: Gather student feedback on policies like dress code, discipline, or tech use. When students help shape their environment, they learn that they have the power to improve it.

These experiences teach children that struggle is part of growth—and that they can handle it with confidence and support.

Strengthen Relationships With Adults and Families

One of the most powerful protective factors for children is having a strong relationship with at least one trusted adult at school. In elementary settings—where students are often with the same teacher throughout the day—educators have a unique opportunity to foster connection and create a safe, supportive classroom culture.

Here are ways to deepen student-adult relationships:

1. Use relationship mapping to ensure every student has a connection.
   • Example: Schools can periodically identify which students may need extra outreach or connection-building with adults.
2. Invest in relationship-building PD.
   • Example: Offer coaching or peer mentoring to help teachers develop inclusive, relationship-centered practices.

Family involvement is also essential. Research from the Community Schools movement and beyond shows that engaged families support stronger academic and social-emotional outcomes for students.

Schools can promote this partnership by:

1. Encouraging a growth mindset at home.
   • Example: Help caregivers reflect on the messages they send about success and failure, and how those messages impact their children.
2. Sharing tools and resources to build healthy habits.
   • Example: Tip sheets like our “Playtime, Downtime, Family Time” guide support balance and connection beyond the classroom.

Ready to Grow Together?

From unstructured play to teacher-student connection, the elementary years are filled with opportunities to build the resilience and relationships students need to succeed—not just in school, but in life.

At Challenge Success, we believe that future-ready learners are built through early investment in well-being, engagement, and belonging.

The Challenge Success Elementary School Partnership helps schools create systems, structures, and processes that make this possible. Through data, coaching, and collaborative design, we help school communities build healthy, balanced learning environments.

Explore the Elementary School Partnership to learn how your school can get started.

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Challenge Success, a nonprofit affiliated with the Stanford Graduate School of Education – elevates student voice and implements research-based, equity-centered strategies to increase well-being, engagement, and belonging in K-12 schools.